Hermit: Mid-Autum Festival must remind us of the Need for a Harmonious Planetary Configuration

Hello Children,

Hermit hte Taoist Dragonfly: Mid-Autum Festival must remind us of the Need for a Harmonious Planetary Configuration

it is very important to remember our culture, so in case you have forgotten this over our festive celebrations of our Celestial Kingdom sixty years ago, on Saturday, there was also the Mid-Autumn Festival (中秋節), the true meaning of which is closely connected with our current festive celebrations.

In our country, nothing happens co-incidentally, as you know. There is a ten-thousand-year-old culture in our country, and consequently, there is a ten-thousand-year-old legend to the Mid-Autumn Festival, too.

Once upon a time, the earth had ten suns. Of course, ten suns are very unnatural. They destroyed the crops and did something to people which made them unable to have children. But a heroic archer shot down the nine fake suns, and only left the real sun in the skies, and thus restored the harmony, and saved the earth. (The archer was very heroic indeed, but to be objective and scientific, let’s also remember that he didn’t always take his pills in time.)

The real sun, of course, emblematizes our Peoples’ Republic of China.

Did you know that there are also fake China’s?

Indeed there are! One calls itself the Republic of China, a country with a silly flag. It even claims to have a so-called “president”.

Even worse, there is another sun which doesn’t even claim to be a fake China, even though it is in fact a fake China! It wants to be a Republic of Taiwan. Of course, both these fake suns are in fact the same renegade province which we hold very dear in our hearts, and we will do them no harm, if they correct their incorrect and unnatural ways by themselves.

The most shanzhai China however is a certain Federal Republic of China. A splittist element, a certain Yan Jiaqi (嚴家其), is advocating this hostile concept. This, dear children, is like if you bomb the sun and leave it in the skies as a fragmented ball of broken fiery pieces, which start floating away from each other like Chang’e (嫦娥) floated away, but without stopping at the moon. Imagine the sun floating around the earth in many broken pieces, so that our mandarins ganbus have to live in broad daylight 24 hours a day! No dark for dark business any more! Where would that leave our ten-thousand-year-old culture and tradition? Things would become very unharmonious!

So we are celebrating the successful eclipse of most of the fake suns, which happened sixty years ago. But the Mid-Autumn Festival this year also reminds us that the business is still unfinished, and that even the eclipses already achieved won’t last without our unyielding patriotic efforts!

Let’s strive for a harmonious planetary configuration at an earlier date! Shikezhunbeizhe!

Got to float fly now, children. Stay harmonious and patriotic, and never forget our then-thousand-year-old culture.