Posts tagged ‘刘德华’

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Net Nanny: Every Joke they Make

Only hours ago, I overheard a very strange remark by a comrade who is an online listener to a British radio station: “The theme tune of The Archers reminds me of  Monty Python.”

Now, Monty Python is a British dancing troupe with a decadent kind of “humor”. Of course it doesn’t matter, because The Archers is nothing serious, but  just a decadent soap opera without inspiring heros. Soap operas should have remained banned in our country, but unfortunately, they are no longer banned because Comrade Mingzhao is a wussy.

Up with People: Net Nanny and the Sacred-Motherland Dragonfly Choir

Up with People: Net Nanny and the Sacred-Motherland Dragonfly Choir

We have seen the consequences. Our teenagers have become addicted to shallow stuff which doesn’t create the right political attitudes. Soap operas which promote decadent luxurious lives and worship money send a very wrong message to our underlings. Only good cadres can handle luxury and money, and good cadres, not their money, should be worshipped.  The lame excuses a Taiwanese producer made, at a time when the renegade province was led by even more renegade people than now, is still worse. That retard suggested that

the series sets out to encourage young people to search for ‘true love’ and to remind them that power and money will never buy happiness.

Happiness isn’t important, and love? Love for what? This stuff is lacking definition, but it seems to refer to love between individuals which involves sex! Same as The Archers. Romances! And

Kenton Archer gets some stick for attempting to control Jolene.

Caroline Sterling gets plenty of sympathy from listeners

Caroline Sterling gets plenty of sympathy from listeners

Obviously, as this is a decadent soap, it has to wrongly suggest that control would be wrong. This kind of stuff alone is designed to sow discord within society. Historic soaps can also be problematic, because they may stir mislead feelings, and romantic concepts of so-called “justice”, but they aren’t quite as bad as The Archers or Meteor Garden because at least, only the imperial court and its serfs – although the imperial court wasn’t only bad, and we must emphasize its positive aspects, too – are shown in their decadence, as a shocking example what happens without correct guidance.

I encourage all comrades to lead by example and to listen to songs which show love for the motherland, and vigilance against imperialist foreign forces, at least once a week. Those of you who cadres who confiscate the MP3 players of their daughters and then secretly listen to them yourselves must stop this degenerating habit.

We have seen the corrosive effect of so-called “humor” on Western societies. Western politicians already hate us because our people aren’t as self-indulgent as theirs, because at least we do plan our radio and television programs, and don’t simply leave it all to the sleazy desires of the small people. Even the British prime minister had a hunch of that recently. But of course, his judgment is clouded with liberalism, because his road isn’t that of socialism with characteristics. A “much more active, muscular liberalism” – hehe. Liberalism per se spells indifference for the motherland. And now they try to use Monty Python and Mr. Bean as Trojan horses in their cultural-hegemony schemes  to drag China down to their own level!

I encourage all comrades to go to the revolutionary opera more frequently again. The Me-and-my-Heavy-Machine-Gun dance is a recommendable production from a truly friendly brotherland which adheres to socialism, even if with some remaining feudal, rather than Chinese, characteristics. To listen to choirs singing patriotic songs is very inspiring, too.

让世界知道我们都是中国人

让世界知道我们都是中国人

And if you think you absolutely have to, just go and watch that German “Enlightenment” show at the National Museum. At least, it isn’t dangerous, because it isn’t meant to be fun. It’s mostly about old furniture, and “Enlightenment” can only corrode foreign societies. Science will strengthen ours.

Shikezhunbeizhe!
Net Nanny

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Related
Charlie Sheen is not Filial, Global Times, March 7, 2011

Update/Related
[added 2011-04-24] We can Stop the Music, October 20, 2008

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Hermit: The Stupid Little Mermaid

Hello Children,

it’s me, Hermit the Taoist Dragonfly, once again. Today I’m going to tell you a fairytale. Here goes…

Once upon a time, say, in the year of 2050, Nannymaid was on a routine patrol tour through the Channel, and somewhere West of Guernsey and Southwest of Land’s End, OK, in the middle of the Atlantic really, she met an attractive, beautiful little Mermaid with a Cool-Britannia T-shirt on that left her neat round hips naked, and with a button in each of her ears. Around her neck hung something like an i-pod, or whatever you’d call that in 2050. Anyway, Nannymaid made a heroic effort and chased the cute little Mermaid into the direction of the Channel, until the little Mermaid was somewhat out of breath, stopped and asked whassup.

You are navigating in Chinese Waters

You are navigating in Chinese Waters

“You are navigating in Chinese waters”, Nannymaid reprimanded her.

Chinese waters?” The cute Mermaid giggled because she was stupid and didn’t know that any waters are Chinese once Chinese Nannymaids say so and produce ancient Chinese sea maps to prove it, even if the maps are drawn with a ballpen. “Chinese waters? This is the Atlantic, and the national waters closest to here are either Moroccan, Portuguese, Spanish, British, or French!”

Stop giggling,” hissed Nannymaid. “Britain has been a tributary state of our Glorious Empire ever since 1793!”

The ignorant cute Mermaid giggled even harder, and Nannymaid became furious. “This is a very serious situation! What’s hanging around your neck there?!”


Sonar what?

“Oh, that’s an i-pod with some cool music”, replied the little Mermaid. “Want to have a listen?”

“Stay away from me! That isn’t music, that’s sonar equipment. You are spying on our Imperial submarines here!”

OK, children, here I should add for your better understanding that in 2035, in an almost bloodless and very humane coup, a Confucian gang brotherhood had restored the Chinese Empire and enthroned Liu Dehua (刘德华) as the first emperor of the Yellow-Face-Dynasty (黄色脸朝).

Anyway, “sonar what?!”, the cute but stupid Mermaid enquired. She had never done well at theoretical physics in school and didn’t even know how a so-called i-pod works.

Don’t act the fool!“, bellowed Nannymaid. “Follow me to the examination rock!”

There on the rock somewhere within the Eastern Atlantic, without asking further questions, Nannymaid hacked the cute little Mermaid into many ugly, unattractive pieces and sent them back to the Empire in a tupperware box, with the next merchant ship, and in Guangzhou, they used the hamburger mermeat (the remaining bits of the t-shirt and i-pod included) to make baby food of it, because the baby food was still pretty much the same as half a century earlier. Of course, only the mothers who belonged to the Chinese superclass could afford such great quality, while all the other babies had sawdust instead. The maintenance of the Empire came at a price, but the common Chinese people happily paid it. Because like Confucius said, Imperial glory is better than a good individual life, and it doesn’t matter if you are bullied, as long as you are bullied by compatriots, not by foreigners.

And with these words of patrotic encouragement, let’s call it a day, children. Got to weigh anchor fly now.

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Related: U.S. vessel’s Standoff with Chinese Sub ‘Dangerous’, Analyst says, IHT, Mar 12

Related: The Hainan EP-3 Incident and what really happened, JR, Aug 8, 2008

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Big China Debate Dinner

Hellooo, Children,

Hello Childrenit’s me again, Hermit, the Taoist Dragonfly with another bit of scientific education for you all. Recently, I attended a big family dinner in a Chinese Restaurant. The family was all German, and there were older people and younger people. Of course, I wasn’t sitting at the table. I had taken a seat in a funny chandelier above the table, enjoying the warm light up there and the silly talk down there.

They were discussing China. One of the elders who was leading the discussion said that you can’t compare China in 2008 with Germany in 1936. (You are too young to know, children, but in 1936, Germany was hosting the Olympics, and at the time, a pretty ugly regime presided over Germany and the Olympics. Some people had made ugly comparisons between the Olympics then, and the Olympics now.)

Noone challenged the elder about the differences between Germany and China, 1936 and 2008, but when he went on saying that China was different, completely different from any other country and with a culture of its own which explained why people with opinions of their own must be confined to house arrest or a Gulag, the younger folks on the table all disagreed. Then most of the elders came to the support of the elder who was so nice about the Chinese political system, and they kept arguing. After all, China was better than America, the elders said, and the stubborn greenhorns disagreed once again.

I’d love to tell you that the elders all loved China. But listen to me, the wise Taoist Dragonfly and Germany expert who knows  those 白头‘s hidden motives: the elders didn’t really like China any better. They didn’t even have an idea about China. Nobody there at dinner table had even been to China.

The only reason why the elders sided with China was that they never lost a war against China.

Sorry, children. But we, the great Chinese people, have no friends. Let’s make the world know that we are all Zhongguoren. Ahahahahahahahahahahahaha, ahahahahahahahahahahahaha. » 

Got to fly now. Stay patriotic, children, and keep your powder dry.

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