Archive for March 21st, 2010

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Hermit: Google is a Political Scam

Disclaimer: the following is not exactly what the article behind the link underneath is saying. It constitutes Hermit’s personal opinion, rather than Xinhua‘s.
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Google is an Agent of Cultural Imperialism

Hermit the Taoist Dragonfly: Google is an Agent of Cultural Imperialism

Hello Children,

Google is a scam. It wasn’t invented by two PhD students – those students were just dummies chosen and used by the CIA, to gather all the global information.

As the American government is fearing the coming of the Great China, they plot in every way to destroy us. That’s why they leerily invented Google. Google never intended to do business in China. How do we know? Because they are too arrogant to be business people. They were always less cooperative than foreign business people normally are, and this year, without any evidence, they claimed to have suffered a hacking attack from the Chinese government, and later, they released an ultimatum, rudely and in a threatening way (蛮横姿态威胁) demanding that China should allow them to provide their search results without censorship of their own do away with the legal administration, otherwise they would withdraw from the Chinese web searching market. It was the worst threat since the Opium Wars. We have narrowly survived this evil plot, thanks to the vigilance of our leadership.

All of a sudden, after four years in the Chinese market, Google no longer respects the normal ways of doing business (在商言商的普世之道)!

I mean, it works with every international company, except Google. So our experience can tell us that Google is no company. It’s an imperialist agent. Besides, history tells us that no company can afford to withdraw from China!

Besides, there are reports saying that U.S. secretary of state Hilary Clinton invited Google CEOs and other web-savvy bigwigs for a small dinner on January 7! They discussed how tools like Twitter and Google and Youtube could support American intervention in other countries, and encourage popular movements there.

Sorry, children, but we simply can’t afford to allow such dangerous media in China. After all, you people are far too gullible. You have eaten all our lies and manipulations without contradiction for decades – so how could we trust that you won’t eat their*) lies and manipulations just as easily? It will take decades before we can trust you a bit more, and only if you observe the eight honors very carefully. For starters, simply buy this silly explanation from me. Anyway, we will develop and improve internet administration in accordance with your real needs.

Down with cultural imperialism! Yell after me three times.

Now that’s what I call good kids. See you next time, and stay patriotic. Got to tweet fly now.

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*) “their” includes all foreign cultural imperialists and their lackeys here at home

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Related
Tremendous Improvements, January 22, 2010
Natural disasters and Cola Disasters, China Daily, May 30, 2008

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