Hermit’s Confucian Cable Tree

Hello Children,

Express Yourself

Expressing Something

maybe you have watched news broadcasts on television before, and seen that there are sometimes people with chopsticks in front of their faces. Those chopsticks are in fact maikefengs. A maikefeng (麦克风) is basically an electric chopstick which converts sound into an electric signal. Somewhere at the end of the cable of the maikefeng, there is a processor (like in the computer where you play the People’s Liberation Army Games), and on the other side of that processor, the electric signal goes into a loudspeaker which can be next to the maikefeng, but also thousands of miles away, inside your television set.

Maybe sometimes, you also see that there are more than only one maikefeng. Especially alien barbarians sometimes don’t understand that. They may even ask why the important personality on television has more than one maikefeng in front of him, while everything goes through the same media channel anyway. Of course, only clueless barbarians can ask such silly questions. Of course, the number of maikefengs actually emblematizes the respect we owe to the important personality.

Let me give you an example. When I speak to the masses, I only use one maikefeng, because I’m not so high-ranking. Besides, our country is Confucian, and by using only one maikefeng, I’m showing how humble and modest I am. (Of course, when I’m Taoist at night, I’m dreaming of being Qinshihuang, with tons of maikefengs in front of hisself).

Confucian Cable Tree: The Medium is the Message

Confucian Cable Tree: The Medium is the Message

Then let’s imagine Nanny. First of all, she’s not very modest, but very arrogant instead. That’s the most important reason why her work is only 60 percent good, but 40 percent bad, while my work is already 65 percent good and only 35 percent bad. Only when you can understand the masses, will your work be very fruitful, and your progress be inexorable. But she ranks higher than me, so she will get some three or five maikefengs.

Then there is our Good Ganbu. He’s retired, but still somehow active, and the thankfulness of our rejuvenated motherland appertains to him. So he gets ten or more maikefengs.

So, because our civilization is very old and refined, a maikefeng isn’t just a maikefeng. It actually expresses something. It is no coincidence at all that Chinese Taoists invented the maikefeng fivethousandtwohundredandninetyten years ago.

That much about the maikefeng for today, children. Got to fly now. Stay patriotic, and keep watching Xinwen Lianbo every night, even if your understanding only grows slowly.


Confucian Family Tree Triples, BBC News, September 25, 2009

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