Archive for August 20th, 2009

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Net Nanny: Yes You Can (Stop Farting)

Can't stop farting

Fen Qing: can't stop farting

No unhealthy stuff

Net Nanny: No unhealthy stuff

Dear Nanny,

whenever I get into the society of civilized people, even if only online, I start farting uncontrolledly. What can I do?

Submissively devoted to the way of becoming a civilized patriot:

— Fen Qing

______________

Fen Qing,

getting rid of your bad habits is actually not complicated. It only takes some routine, and a few decisions.

Step One:
Go to mylaowai.com – but only ONE MORE TIME -, print his Book of Helpful Help, and start implementing six out of those ten rules in your life (with the exceptions of no’s six, eight, nine, and ten, which are utterly unhealthy bullshit). Then, if you are patient, you will meet and get that girl. She won’t be great, but she’ll be good enough for you.

Step Two:
Never read foreign blogs again afterwards. You will never stop farting in civilized peoples’ company anyway. Not even online. Install Green Dam on your computer and don’t try to cheat. If you are abroad, return to your motherland a.s.a.p.. You’ll never stop farting abroad.

Step Three:
Limit your time online to ninety minutes a day. Otherwise, you will receive re-education on your return to the motherland.

— Net Nanny

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