Hermit’s Childhood and the Beautiful Stone

Hello Children,

Hermit: Hello Children

Hermit the Very Important Taoist Dragonfly is harmonious and patriotic and makes monumental contributions to the defense of the motherland.

today, I want you to meet Rao Jin. You can learn from his immense dedication to the sake of the motherland’s harmony and territorial integrity. And its unity. When reading his powerful statements, my heart goes out to him. We are brothers-in-arms for our Great China. When you have grown up, you can join us, if you are worthy and don’t fall for one of the Eight Disgraces.

You see, every business great cause was small once. But just like the so-called fool who wanted to remove an entire mountain – this mountain really emblematizes the lies and distortions of the Western media -, heros like Rao Jin and Hermit (that’s me) will never cease to defend the harmony among China’s nationalities, and to prevent the Balkanization of our colonies any place in our motherland.

Above all, we won’t allow foreign media to fan the flames and hurt our feelings. They will never overcome the Great Wall and divide and subjugate us again. So you can play happily and without worries, children, until you join our great cause, too.

When I was a child, I also played a lot, and this is very healthy for childhood. I once lost a beautiful stone when I was a child. Some Western children bullied me on the beach and took the beautiful stone away from me and threw it into the sea. I waited for the falling tide, but those mean foreign children were waiting too! As they had found out how much I loved the stone, they wanted to dispossess me of the beautiful stone for good, by picking it up themselves after the water had receded. But I was more persevering, and waited longer than they did. Westerners are dangerous, but also easily distracted, and after they had left, I guarded my beautiful stone which was still under the water and didn’t leave the place at all! I even crapped my pants, because I wouldn’t risk to leave the place for any moment! Then, when the tide had gone out, I was able to regain my beautiful stone.

On my way back home, the conductor kicked me out of the tram because my pants were stinking, and I had to walk the long way home. But I had my stone back, and those foreign bullies had gone away empty-handed.

I think from this we can see how I became who I am and why I am so perseverant in my work for the motherland today. It all started back then. If those foreign bullies knew what a momentous movement they started with their brutal but also very silly behavior back then, on the beach!

By the way, I also get letters of a threatening nature. JR writes one to me every day, because he is an imperialist bully and probably wants me to stop my patriotic and virtuous work. Net Nanny also sends me letters of a threatening nature every day, but for different reason, namely, because she is envious, because my work is 65 per cent good, 35 per cent bad, while hers is only 60 per cent good, 40 per cent bad!

Just like comrade Jin, I had two encounters with death before I was ten years old. I suffered a wasp-sting, and my Granny died at the hands of an imperialist Japanese kitchen machine which had been deliberately designed to kill patriotic Chinese housewives!

But nobody will ever stop me and my patriotic cause. And, I’m sure, those who are trying to put psychological pressure on Rao Jin won’t succeed in their schemes either.

7 Responses to “Hermit’s Childhood and the Beautiful Stone”

  1. You aren’t making fun of Jin Rao, are you?

    Like

  2. No way. However, I’m aware that there are some people out there who search the internet in bad faith, with searchwords such as sex with dog but hard or the incidents in china are, simply put.

    Like

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