Net Nanny: Three-Self Control

Dear Net Nanny,

isn’t it almost impossible to control the population of a country as vast as yours? I can’t imagine how that works!

Singing General.


Singing General,

About Self-Control

Self-Control of the People

I think your question is really about as to how we are doing a better job here in China, than you and your comrades ever did in East Germany. OK, first of all, both our propaganda and our censoring systems are better than yours ever were. Your bedtime stories always made us yawn. Besides, you sided with Russia (the past), not with China (the future).

But of course, there are also some natural factors. Even criminals don’t like criminals here. Sometimes we, the guardians of decency, conventions, and harmony, are just sitting in our offices, having a nice cup of tea and wait until they come and report each other. Its called the three-self (三自) here: rob yourselves, beat yourselves, and turn yourselves in.

And if you are an important personality (and maybe somewhat afraid of the three-self commonality), don’t be confused. Jackie Chan (陳港生), for example, is a great example for self-control, too.

You could have learned a thing or three from us thirty years ago, bloody social-imperialist.

Harmonious greetings

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