Archive for July 16th, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Scientific History: The invention of the Sacred Olympic Fire

(Draft for a children’s TV programme)

Hello ChildrenHello Children. This is Hermit, the Taoist Dragonfly again, with your daily dose of scientific history. And our topic today is: Oh shit, I forgot! (Hermit clicks on a notebook, and nothing happens.)

OK, children. Anyway. Once upon a time, the world was dark, cold, hostile, and in chaos. Everywhere except in our Middle Kingdom of course. But after our great first Emperors had reigned in on the floods and invented agriculture, fire, house-building and plastic surgery, they sent a fleet around the world that had a look if all humankind was fine. Because our emperors were very kind and cared for the progress of all of human kind, just as Uncle Wen does now. They weren’t like those Western devils of nowadays who don’t want to see China rise for the good of the whole world again, and who therefore caused trouble to the Sacred Torch.

Ah, now I’ve accidentally found it. That’s our topic today indeed, children. Now, do you know what a Greek gift is? Right. A Greek gift is what the foreign devils have given to us when the IOC took the Chinese Olympics to China – hehe. But talking about Greek stuff, did you know that there are people who think that the Olympic Games were invented in Greece ?

(Hermit frowns and shakes his head.)

Sacred Torch outside

Sacred Torch outside

Now, I hope you are smarter than those people. But if not, this is your chance to learn something. Look at it. This is what the idiots of the world think of as a Greek Sacred Olympic Torch. (Hermit hits at his notebook again, and finally, a picture appears.)

Now, children. This looks pretty Greek, right? But it only looks Greek because we Chinese (Han Chinese, Taoist Dragonfly Chinese and national minorities) are very modest and never get noisy about our inventions.

This is only for your reference if you study overseas later (don’t forget to bookmark this important information!), and some stupid Laowai tries to make you believe that sacred torches are Western inventions. If that happens, just show the inflated, arrogant Laowai what is inside the sacred torch:

Sacred Torch inside

Sacred Torch inside

Yes – Chinese technology. Now we all know. This is a Sacred Torch from Wenzhou. About 70% of the world’s sacred torches (made of metal) are made there. And no try of the Laowais to play foul will ever change that. **** them.

Got to fly now. Stay patriotic.

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