Bo Xilai planned the Third World War

OK, maybe not. But he (or Wang Lijun, or whoever) wiretapped everyone, up to the collective leader Hu Jintao himself, “nearly half a dozen” (i. e. 5.9, I guess?) CCP officials people with party ties claim, as quoted by the New York Times. And the British government is soooo happy that the rule of law applies in China, and that the Heywood case is re-investigated. OK, not quite that, either – he welcomes Neil Heywood death investigation.

My theory is that Bo Xilai shagged Sarah Palin, conspired with the Nazis on the dark side of the moon, and that they will soon abduct him so that he can’t reveal their schemes.

We will never see Bo Xilai again. That’s almost for sure.

Update - Update - Update: JR Intelligence Unit spotted Bo in Syria in what appears to be an extraordinary rendition arrangement between Beijing and Damascus.

Taiwan: Just another Day in the KMT Archives

-

Special Investigation: Another Day in the KMT Archives

____________

Related

» Who’s Afraid of an Independent Commission against Corruption, July 2, 2011

» Detective Li, June 30, 2010

Renault “Spying Scandal”: not so Chinese, not so Spy

French Intelligence

Noticed ? JR hasn’t  lost a single word about the Renault “spy case” ever since January (or maybe somewhat earlier, who cares), when those  claims became public.

And all that even as you all know that  JR is never shy to say unharmonious things about China. Why wouldn’t he bother to  re-report the “suspicions” that “fell on China”?

Well, after all, he’s a China expert, and a France expert.

JR ‘s Beautiful Blog - the World’s Refe the World’s Reference Point, where you will only find the news that really matters.
____________

Related
L’ Homme du Midi, January 14, 2010

News Just In

nannynews — The JR Intelligence Unit (JIU) has learned from Wikileaks that Britain’s Secret Intelligence Service (SIS) is in possession of the true Egyptian election results, and of a dossier that reveals Germany’s collective state of mind (which is decidedly risk-averse).

Net Nanny Relaunched (with more Maikefengs)

Net Nanny was released from jail late last week.  The recording of a telephone conversation, tapped into by the JR Intelligence Unit (JIU) on Thursday, suggests that she had been jailed as a result of a power struggle some two weeks ago. The following is the wording of that extremely sensitive state secret phone conversation which apparently led to her release.

Hermit (yells): Shikezhunbeizhe!

Good Ganbu

Good Ganbu: Good morning, Comrade. Did you get the news that Comrade Nanny is in jail?

Hermit: Yes I did. Must be a terrible blow to that conceited ugly crow. But well deserved, anyway.

Good Ganbu: Not so fast, Comrade Hermit…

Hermit: GULP!

Good Ganbu: She didn’t read that Californian porn magazine on a public bus for the whole world to see, right?

Hermit: Hardly so. she never socializes with the masses, that much is true. Maybe she read it in the rear compartment of her Red Flag Review Car. She bought herself one in a silly attempt to look as good as our great chairman, but she isn’t working half as xinku as he does.

Good Ganbu: Actually, she didn’t buy it. Uhm… anyway, only you and I have seen her reading that decadent Californian magazine, right?

Hermit: Uhm… who knows? Someone must have handed it to her, right? What are you up to, revered old comrade? Isn’t my work 65 per cent good, and only 35 per cent bad?

Good Ganbu: Well, yes, but you see, it is still 35 per cent bad. Even excellent scientists like you can make mistakes. Your public and neimu dang’an‘s both inform me that you graduated from Shanzhai Normal University (山寨师范大学), Ledu (乐都), Qinghai province, fifteen years ago. You completed your doctoral thesis there one year later, and became a professor there in 1997.

Hermit the Scholarly Dragonfly

Hermit: Of course! It is one of our nation’s most acclaimed universities!

Good Ganbu: Ahem… listen, Comrade: our beloved motherland is developing at an unprecedented speed. The world’s fastest trains take us to many places, and even where their victorious rails end, there are comfortable buses and Red Flag Review Cars which now take us to every corner of our motherland…

Hermit: OK, OK, what do you want, revered old Comrade?

Good Ganbu: Comrade Nanny will be released from jail tomorrow, and I expect no further anonymous letters to reach my office, with evil accusations and rumors, OK? The world is in turm0il, and us Comrades must stand together, and not allow our enemies to…

Hermit: Oh, I would never engage in schemes and …

Good Ganbu: Of course not. By the way, in future public appearances and neimu party seminars, Comrade Nanny will be afforded another maikefeng – you will continue to use only one maikefeng. Bye for now.

More maikefengs for Comrade Nanny will restore the Harmony and give back face to her.

Hermit (yells): Shikezhunbeizhe!

[Good ganbu rings off. Hermit starts sobbing uncontrolledly.]

JR’s Little Riddle

guidance at the grassroots

If you have become obsessed by the question what the circuit inspection team of the Central Committee of CPC (中央第四巡回检查组) is, Xinhua News Agency is here to answer your question. A circuit inspection team – or, more elegantly translated – a mobile inspection team inspects and guides the in-depth study and practice activities of scientific development (对深入学习实践科学发展观活动进行检查指导).

The Central Mobile Team no. One was in Tianjin from July 29 to 31, for example, and now or recently, the Central Mobile Team no. Four was in Qinghai Province (青海省), lead by Zhang Weiqing and Mao Linkun (毛林坤). They also went to the grassroots there (i. e. to the city of Ledu (乐都) to inspect and guide the situation of the implementation of study and practice activities (深入基层指导检查学习实践活动的开展情况).

But why did one of the participants (to the right) in the activity disappear behind his papers? See for yourselves:

he's raising his documents

-

and keeps them raised

-

so that he's almost invisible

But what does this mean?

Is he too modest to appear on television?
Does his wife suppose him to be somewhere else?
Is his family unaware of his party membership?
Is he blowing his nose with the documents?

Please send your assumptions, rumors, and state secrets to

The JR Intelligence Service
Human Motivation Search Department
duibudui@hotmail.de

Thank you for your cooperation. The best answer might get a prize, if JR is in the mood.

JR’s China Backgrounder

Urumqi – If you are wondering why visiting leaders from Beijing rarely stay in Xinjiang for longer than 24 hours these days, it may actually be for security reasons. Le Courrier du Vietnam reports that Xinjiang Train Station Police announced baggage controls on train stations for the security of passengers and cargo. The following measures took effect on July 30, and will remain in force until the end of the national holidays in October:

- instruments containing flat springs (if JR translated des lames correctly) are banned
- the amount of nail polish will be limited to 20 milliliters
- the amount of hair dyeing lotion will be limited to the same quantity
- and the same applies for any other kind of cosmetic liquid.

Wanted: The Monumental Patriotic Hacker

Dear Netizens:

the Justrecently Intelligence Unit needs your help. Which of these two idiots Monumental Hackers is Lao Jun?

Which one is LAO JUN?

Please click on the picture to get a bigger version. And don’t for get to write an E-mail to duibudui@hotmail.de and let the JIU know the relevant information. Thanks for your cooperation.

________

Related: Serve your Country – Become a Network Security Adviser, July 31, 2009