You are silly, DPP…

… only very disturbed kids and grown-up retards would enjoy the MOEA’s “cartoons” anyway. Stop yelling and make a comic of Chairman Ma instead. And make sure it’s funnier than the one about Fa Sao and Yi-ge. Geez.

JR Intelligence: False Heads, New Clues?

Jakarta - The JR Intelligence Unit (JIU) believes that the two heads found on the site of the July 16 Jakarta bombings are in fact the replicas of two old Chinese replicas. Hermit’s theory is that World Uighur Congress agents stole them while they were on their way to Beijing by post, sent by JR in exchange for his letters which had gone missing in China during the past two decades.

Hermit’s theory is now under investigation by the JIU, but if it holds water, Rebiya Kadeer should be very afraid! Because it would be even more proof, in addition to already overwhelming proof, that the World Uyghur Congress and the Dailai are engaging in splittist and terrorist activities!

The JR Intelligence Unit has always doubted that the two heads should belong to the perpetrators. After all, how could those terrorists do forty virgins on the other side of the cupboard if they are all heads only? Therefore, Hermit’s theory makes perfect sense. Be afraid, Ms Kadeer! Be very afraid!

Hermit: Panic and Despair in Russia

Hermit the angry Taoist Dragonfly exposes Russian gangster logic

Hello Children,

the Russian government is denying its citizens access to products with good quality at low prices. It is using gangster logic against our smugglers merchants and has thrown Cherkizovsky Market into panic and despair.

Those mindless imperialists who haven’t learned from history claim that the Cherkizovsky Market is a so-called gray custom-clearance market, but in fact, they are only safeguarding their so-called interests!

That’s gangster logic. Let’s take a tough and correct stance, rally around our merchants, and show the Russians that we are all Chinese!

Stay patriotic, children. Got to fly now.

Memorable Quotations from Qin Gang

“As for what you can and cannot watch, watch what you can watch, and don’t watch what you cannot watch.”

Quoted by Underthejacaranda, quoting China Digital Times (apparently suspended), quoting Qin Gang, China’s foreign ministry spokesman.

And if you ever accused Qin Gang of an undifferentiated view of Tibet‘s and Xinjiang‘s leaders in exile, you might consider eating your words now – here is a memorably differentiated quote of July 17, 2009:

“One is female, while the other is male.”

This said, this is only a quote which can be attributed to Mr Qin, as far as JR can see. The source virtualreview quotes from and links to (China Daily) is either currently removed not available, or it never existed. Try the link there from virtualreview.

China Digital Times Suspended?

This wouldn’t surprise me if this was a .cn domain:

China Digital Times URL

But it’s the China Digital Times. Check here if it is online again.

Deutsche Welle: New Head for Chinese Service

Adrienne Woltersdorf, currently the Tageszeitung‘s (TAZ) Washington correspondent, will become head of the Voice of Germany‘s Chinese Service on December 1, both for the station’s radio and internet contents, reports the station. Born in 1966, she studied Politics and Sinology. After a stay of several years in China, she worked for Der Spiegel, Frankfurter Rundschau, and TAZ.

__________

Related:
Deutsche Welle Chinese Department Acquitted, March 27, 2009
Voice of Germany Chinese Dept in Translation, January 15, 2009

The Namibian: China Loans Suspended

The Export-Import Bank of China (Exim) is the main financer of the controversial multi-million dollar scanner deal between Nuctech and Namibia. The Namibian reports that Namibia will no longer make use of the US$100 million in preferential export buyers credit Exim has been offering. Permanent secretary in the Ministry of Finance Calle Schlettwein said the terms of a US-$ 100 million credit line were unfavorable and it had been suspended by Namibia’s government late last year. The scanner deal which is now under investigation is not affected by this decision, according to the report.

Three suspects, Teckla Lameck (a Public Service Commissioner), Kongo Mokaxwa, and Yang Fan (a Chinese national)  are currently under arrest, reports The Namibian. Its report also contains some details of the scope of the Exim Bank, and the backgrounds and history of the current investigation.

Shit Not Happens

Come on, Net Nanny, don’t panic. This is just an investigation! No need to ban the keywords

Hu Haifeng, Namibia, Namibia bribery investigation, Yang Fan bribery investigation, Nuctech bribery investigation, southern Africa bribery investigation.

But then, the concept of an investigation on your mind may have Chinese characteristics.