Hermit the (angry) Taoist Dragonfly
JR: Hermit the Taoist Dragonfly is the authoritative expert on issues like Buddhism, Falun Gong, India, imperialism, the righteousness of the Chinese Communist Party, science, Taiwan, Taoism, Tibet, and the calamitous way Western media steer otherwise happy, nice and peaceful people into terrorist madness. Thank you very much for bestowing this opportunity for an interview on us, and let thy gifts to us be blessed.
Hermit: Ahem. Thanks for listening to a voice of reason.
JR: Thank You. It is a great honor to get the chance to listen to you. I think it is very important to steer against the pathological bias in the Western media. That’s our mission, and we are very glad about your patronage.
Hermit (eagerly): Yes, indeed. The evilness and wickedness and envious and destructive motivation of the Western media can’t be pointed out often enough. But I’m confident that some day, all blogs will be as wise as yours and those very few misguided people will know better and repent their callous, creepy and feudal ways from the dustbin of yesterday.
JR: Are you confident that His Holiness the Dalai Lama will repent, too?
Hermit (frowns): His Holiness?!
JR: Oh, umm, sorry. It slipped me. I still have to learn. I’m a neophyte of truth, and I still have a long way to go before I can approach the Altar of Reason and Truth. Umm, anyway, do you think that that ******* jackal in Dharamsala will repent, too?
Hermit: Don’t worry. You learn very fast. You are a very promising and flexible neophyte of reason and truth. I’d almost say that you are a friend of the Chinese people.
JR: Bu gan dang, bu gan dang!
Hermit: No, really! Anyway, who cares what the ******* jackal in Dharamsala will do? It will be dead soon.
JR: But do you think that this will end the conflict around Tibet?
Hermit (frowns): Which conflict?
JR: Oh, umm, I mean, that fuss that a small minority of Tibetans and their foreign lackays around the world are making about Tibet which is in fact a fortunate place that luckily happened to become part of the Chinese territory…
Hermit (screams): You are an idiot! Tibet was, is, and always will be Chinese territory!!!
JR (tearful): Oh, please, Sir! Give this humble piece of dirt one last chance to listen to your wisdom!
Hermit: OK. One last chance. Be careful.
JR: I will.
JR: I’m feeling so humble and awkward in my stupidity…
Hermit: It’s OK. I’m confident you will learn very fast.
JR: Thank you, master.
Hermit: No need to call me master. That is an old, feudal and unreasonable habit. We are all equal under the benevolent collective leadership of the CCP.
JR: Yes. Umm… anyway, why is the wise leadership so angry about the French president’s meeting with the ******* jackal of Dharamsala? I mean, that feudal guy is completely meaningless, isn’t he, umm, it?
(Hermit leaps to his feet and starts dancing and sings Because We Want To.)
Hermit (somewhat out of breath): Is Because We Want To good enough for you?
JR: Oh, umm, yes, of course. It’s very reasonable.
Hermit: You don’t look convinced.
JR: Oh, err, umm…. sorry… hang on (tries hard to give his currently consternated face a convinced and faithful expression).
Hermit: Good. Now, I can see that you are trying hard to become a better learner of reason and truth and to do away with your old feudal ways. As a reward, I’ll give you some more information.
JR: Oh, thank you!
Hermit: You’re welcome. You know, faith and trust is very important before people can share the truth. The truth is very obvious, but it is also a big secret.
(JR hangs on Hermit’s lips.)
Hermit: The problem with such meetings between the ******* jackal and Western heads of state or government who should be respectable but make themselves unrespectable by the choice of people they surround themselves with is that they instigate the media…
JR: Oh, my… umm… Oh shit!
Hermit: Indeed. As we all know, the media – especially the Western media, but even our own media require constant vigilance and control – the Western media are very dangerous and in cooperation with the CIA and other forces hostile to the Chinese people (Chinese includes the Tibetans with a Han majority) they keep instilling terrorism into the brains of a small minority of Tibetans… (Hermit is getting more and more vocal) … they want to split and weaken China!
JR: That’s absolutely disgusting, and also, it brings a lot of misery into the lives of common, innocent Han and Tibetan Chinese who live so happily and harmoniously together, except for a very small, slavish minority!
Hermit (almost ecstatic): Yeah!
JR: You know… I’ve been thinking about this for a long time…
Hermit: … so what. Thinking for a long time can lead to terrible results. I think you’d better get active for the great course of global harmony…
JR: Yes, indeed. But Confucius says that one has to correct the names to put language into accordance with the truth of things…
(Hermit listens with an expression of mild disgust)
JR: … and I’m wondering… is the fuss about an allegedly unfree Tibet the same as the fuss about the Israeli settlements in the West Bank?
Hermit (screams): WTF!!
JR: Umm… forgive me… I just mean, I’m sure I’m wrong, but if all the trouble with the few remaining bits of feudalism in Tibet is triggered by the media time and again, would the fuss about the Jewish settlements in the West Bank collapse if the media stopped reporting it?
Hermit: You are either retarded or stubborn! You have no idea! You’ll never learn! The settlements in the West Bank are created by the CIA! The Han settlers are people who just want to bring those stupid Tibetans the light! Umm… I mean… reason and truth! And commerce! And progress! That’s a very, very big difference! And you have made a very, very serious, serious mistake!
(JR throws himself to the floor with his face to the earth.)
Hermit: Nobody can demand other to do anything, he/she does not want to do; not even HI (His Idiot) Dailai can do that. It is the choice that individual has to make whether to prosper or to wither away.
JR (bashfully mumbles from the molehill he has dug himself into in the meantime): But if the individual makes that choice, how can it be that the media…
Hermit: The policy of Western Europe towards minority Muslim and Africans is nothing to be proud of either. At least, the standard of living of Tibetans is improving and lifespan of ordinary Tibetans increases. They can have a choice to be part of economic boom in China or part of the failure of HI DL. There was a Canadian native who had a similar dream. The last time I met him, he was broke, drunk and lying on the street dying.
Look at the changes China has to make in the last 30 years to prosper. I have said enough on this subject. I am signing off. Bye with a lot of luck.
(Hermit kicks into the molehill and strides away.)
Thanks to sing666 and doris333 on the Time Blog Commenters’ Thread for making a mountain out of this humble molehill.